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Rainbow Reflections: Hair, Identity, and the Power of Community
In anticipation of Pride Month thisJune here in Seattle, I sat down with three amazing local queer stylists: MickiThorson, KJ Kazinsky, and Micki Yeates, to take a closer look at how hair intersectswith identity.
Micki Thorson is a stylist locatedin West Seattle and is doing some very cool work with the neurodivergent andimmunocompromised communities of the Seattle area. In our conversation weexplored how even incorporating small changes into our salon spaces can createbig shifts, making them more accessible to a wider population. Dimming lights,fidget toys, and disposable earplugs were all suggestions that helped Thorson buildtheir business.
Meeting with KJ, who is based inIssaquah, I noticed a recurring theme of spaces and how they played a role inboth of our lives. We bonded over shared experiences in our hometowns and previoussalon environments. We also agreed that while it can require courage, havingvisible signs of support creates a meaningful impact in the community.
Finally, while our video ended uphaving some technical difficulties towards the end, Micki Yeates, located in SouthSeattle’s Columbia City, touched on growing a business with the help of theircommunity and some of the haircutting approaches they find helpful when workingwith the queer community.
Whileall of these conversations were specifically geared to spotlight the queercommunity in honor of Pride, identity is something everybody seeks to expressand understand about themselves. As of June 2025, the American HeritageDictionary defines it as the set of characteristics by which a person orthing is definitively recognizable or known. Now, because I’m a nerd, Itook a deep-dive into it and wanting more than a dictionary definition, Ilooked to PsychologyToday, which defines identity as not just who we are, but the values wehold. These values then help dictate the choices we make. Thearticle goes on to say that one’s identity is comprised of the multiple roleswe take on, such as being a hairstylist, a mother, or member of acommunity. All of these roles hold meaning and expectations we internalize. Thesecan then be influenced by external factors, especially the people around usgrowing up. As far as forming an identity, it breaks the process intothree tasks: developing one’s potential, choosing a purpose in life,and finding opportunities to exercise that potential and purpose.
I also learned that facerecognition is the most studied method our brain uses to recognize and identifypeople but it’s far from the only one. Other forms of recognition includevoice, name, personal belongings, handwriting, gait, body motion, physique, andI’m sure many more that haven’t been fully researched yet. This reminded methat I’ve had people recognize me from the back of my head even though I don’thave much hair left. I also remembered times when I’ve been in a crowded venue,trying to find a friend and how I instinctively look for their hairstyle or a fashionaccessory that would help them stand out.
When I spoke with KJ, we talkedabout how our journey as queer folks often begins with feeling outside of thingsand in response, leaves us with a detached sense of identity. The analogy weused a few times in our interview was that of a puzzle piece and how findingcommunity or a sense of self may not complete the whole picture but helps giveperspective on where we fit on the puzzle. They shared how their first time gettingtheir hair cut short allowed them to truly see themself for the first time finallyhelping that puzzle finally start to take shape in their life. I believe bothof these stories highlight the process of discovery the article from PsychologyToday talks about. However, I think the true appearance of that journey looksmore chaotic and unfocused instead of a simple-seeming 3-step path. As Yeatestouched on though, chaotic texture is in and not going anywhere soon! I believeidentity is found in an explorative breaking and reconstruction of self, drivenby the feeling of not fitting. Not in the way one tries to fit in throughpopularity, I think it can often be confused as the same; instead it’s aninnate sense of “I’m different and don’t fit here” or more along thelines of, “I don’t see myself reflected here and don’t know my place”and from an outside perspective of someone who’s never felt these subliminal signals,it probably looks unfocused and confusing.
There is no rulebook for findingidentity. There’s no model for what it’s supposed to look like. Identity is as free-flowingas a freshly trimmed mullet at the beach on a sunny day! What surprised me mostin the process of compiling all of my notes from these interviews was that thesingle overarching theme between them all was community!
Community is an external marker that tells ourbrain: these are my people, I’m safe, I’m cared for, I fit in, evenif I’m different than them, I still feel like I belong. We find ourselveswhen we find community that reflects and supports who we really are and in turn,supporting our community helps foster those same feelings in others. We areboth the group and the individual and I think it’s very easy to forget this andonly see it from the duality of a have-or-have-not perspective. There’ssomething poetic in finding the individual in the process of finding thegroup.
While it doesn’t help to be ahairstylist in a city known for its “Seattle Freeze”, in today’s world,community is one of the most sought-after experiences. I hear it from justabout every person who’s sat in my chair. I’m not sure where and when thatsplit happened but I think we as people ache for it and need it more than ever.Pride and Pride Month have many different meanings but coming together as acommunity has always been the focus. So, while our identities are a rainbow ofcolors, shapes, and stories, coming together and welcoming them all into our spacesreally is how we begin to heal. It’s a big goal but just as Thorson hasdemonstrated, big changes are created simply by choosing to take small steps.
